If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
