im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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