Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bring money and cleavage
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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