yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
