what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize