Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
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Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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