Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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