and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
