Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
