you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
