Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
