Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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