I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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