You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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