we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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