She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
