porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
