I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
