but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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