You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
