Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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