Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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