literally had 100 drinks last night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
