Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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