I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on