I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.