ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body