My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.