glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.