Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
