When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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