I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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