why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize