Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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