After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
