new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
