Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
