My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
