he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
