I bet he comes in French.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
