Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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