My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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