he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I pour the whiskey from now on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
