saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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