Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In America we eat man semen.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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