I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
