you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
