normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
