I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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