hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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