Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
