That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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