Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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