Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she told me i tasted like america
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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