Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
