i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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