dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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