it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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