so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
