Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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