"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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