I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize